Ingredients to Create a Blissful Life #47: Trust

Hmmm, this week’s topic is an interesting one and one that I confess I have struggled with. Sometimes still do.

Week 47’s Ingredient to Create a Blissful Life is: Trust

We’ve all been hurt by people we didn’t think were capable of it, and that has an effect on our ability to trust them, but when this gets really tricky is when we’ve made a really big mistake or bad judgment call that has cost us dearly and we lose trust in ourselves. Have you ever done that? I have and it’s not an easy thing to come back from. How do you learn to trust yourself again?

I can often be gentle, but this particular topic I believe calls for  just getting really honest. If you can follow these few steps, it’s really not that hard!

The very first thing you need to do is to put down the stick you’re using to beat yourself up over whatever you did or didn’t do that caused the situation. If you have trouble doing that, try this. Find a mirror. Close your eyes and imagine your best friend or your lover or your child – anyone that you love deeply and without reservation. Now, imagine they have done EXACTLY what you did. Would you treat them the way you’re treating yourself? I’m guessing probably not. Get into the space of compassion and love you would have as you see them suffering and heartbroken about what has happened. Now, open your eyes. My dear one, you deserve at least as much love and compassion from yourself as anyone else does!

So now, you’ve put down the stick and are shifting your perspective at least a little right? Good!

Second step. Find a quiet place where you can think and bring with you some paper and a pen. Now, I want you to write down every decision you’ve made in the last 12 months that was good. Every choice you’ve made that worked out well, that helped someone, that created more for you and your loved ones. Every single thing you’ve done that has shown kindness or compassion to someone who needed it.

Third step. Read your list and acknowledge how often or how many times you’ve done the “right” thing.

Fourth step. Compare the number of times you’ve messed up to the number of times you’ve just listed that you did something good.

Fifth and final step. Give yourself a break! Last time I checked you were human just like the rest of us. So you made a mistake. Take whatever learning you can find in the experience, pick yourself up, dust yourself off and get on with it!! You are important and valued and needed and taking yourself out of the game helps no one!

Ok, now that we’ve gotten that out of the way…

You know the thing that’s the most true in my life? I always try to do the right thing – not just for myself, but for everyone. And the result of that is sometimes that I make a mistake. The only things I really regret are the things that have hurt others. Doesn’t happen often, but it does happen.

Trusting others is pretty easy. If you listen to your intuition or the little voice in the back of your head or your heart, you know when things aren’t adding up. You just need to listen to your gut. The key to trusting yourself? Be straight with yourself – always. Even when it’s hard to look at, tell yourself the truth and own up to whatever is yours. That’s integrity and it’s very closely related to trust, isn’t it?

Your choice this week? I guess it’s a pretty simple one and yours, as always, to make. Will you trust yourself or will you not?

What do you choose?

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